October 2, 2018
Today is my anniversary. I have been legally married to Richard Shaffer for 24 years. We have known each other for 27 years. This is more than half of our lives. In 4 days I turn the corner on half a century.
Calling me in the middle of our separate drop offs of children this morning he asked me, “Do you consider this a happy day? Or a sad day?”
It is hard to make it 24 years married without battle scars.
I replied, “This is a great accomplishment. It is a great celebration”
This is a Peace Treaty between two different planets that has held for 24 years. We have discovered 4 new worlds that are thriving only if Peace continues to reign between us.
We have each acquired nuclear weapons since our union many years ago. Either one of us could declare war with one push of a button. There have been things worthy of doing so. But we each know the cost. All would perish. Innocent and guilty alike.
So much time and energy spent building these lives that matter so much. A history woven together of happy times, celebrations and laughing alongside disappointments, shame and hurt. So many summits to negotiate our differences. So many times we had to swallow our pride and turn the other cheek. So much stepping over the things we don’t like. So many hours of listening to navigate danger and difficulty.
Two different planets could never agree on everything. Why do we ever think that they could?
I am sorry for the young romantics who might read this and see cynicism. I am not unhappy and jaded. I am older and wiser. I am more humble and tolerant. I have had my faults pointed out to me in ways I can not ignore. My roots grow deeper and stronger in this rich reality. I can reach higher with help, than I can alone.
I have arrived at a rare stop along the journey. Not many make it this far. A place where I have hindsight AND I would not do one thing different. Yes, I would do it all over again, even the hard. The hard times taught me the most. (I would just ask for amnesia to go through it again haha.)
I am thankful. I am thankful for the happy times. I am thankful for the hard times. And I am So so thankful for peace. I am thankful for peace today. There is no promise of tomorrow. I am Thankful for the strength of this treaty that grows stronger through each challenge overcome. Thankful for our 4 children who are new worlds of discovery only possible through this partnership. And I am thankful to have an ally in this world.
It is a great accomplishment and a happy celebration: