Dear Mom and Dad,
It is 4:00 am and I have been up since 10:30 pm trying to catch up on paperwork. At this point, an hour or two of sleep would just be like chinese water torture. I have had this letter in my head for a couple of weeks, and wanted to write it down.
You both know that this year has been very difficult for me. For reasons you also know. What has blown me away, is how the two of you so quietly and lovingly have stepped in to help carry me through. I have always known that I had great parents, but lately I am realizing that I actually won the parent lottery.
I am amazed to realize that I would probably not have gotten through the past 30 days without all that you have done for me. I did not even know I needed your help. But, you both somehow knew you were needed, and showed up on my doorstep.
Mom, you came with such an open heart to try to help me through Richard’s trip to NY. You timed it perfectly, as the news of his job termination from Willis was fresh. And although Richard was relieved, I was realizing the gravity of it all, and what it would mean. As I was breaking out in shingles, you literally took one look at me and knew. I had no idea what was happening, and thought going to the doctor was a big waste of time. Lucky for me, you were there to be “mom”. Just that doctor trip alone, saved me from alot of intense pain, and saved little Zeke from getting chicken pox at 4 and a half months of age. Every thing you did for me was from a place of such pure love and desire, to ease the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Dad, you checked in on that direct line you got going with the man upstairs, and showed up on my doorstep, literally, in time for me to hand you baby Zeke, so I could deal with LICE in my house (3 hours before Shabbat). Richard was gone to Israel, and although you looked a little like a deer caught in the headlights, you came on in the house and faced it with the rest of us. (with only a little imagined itching). You spent the weekend helping me figure out all the financial things I needed to know in my new job as “accountant” for IsraeliWineDirect.com.
You both also played tirelessly with my 4 kids. Constantly cleaned up behind us all. Took a good look at my family and gave me sound advice. Made sure I slept (and ate). And basically boosted me up and walked right beside me through it all.
So I have learned some things about being a parent. Things that I am so thankful to know:
l. You don’t have to be perfect. as long as, you are real and honest and present with your kids. When you make mistakes you admit them, and help your kids learn with you, about your journey. You both have been open about your own mistakes, and I feel the benefit of learning with you, about your struggles.
2. G-d is the best source to help you find your way. I really believe that you both relied on your strong faith to help you know how and when to help me. I felt like I truly saw G-d working through you. You came with the only agenda of trying to help. You opened your hearts to me and to G-d. The results are actually unbelievable to me. You not only helped your daughter (and son-in-law), but most of all, you helped your grandchildren. And that is when you really “get it”. When someone helps your children, you have a gratitude unlike anything you have ever felt before.
Mom, I know we have learned through your struggles with my near blindness as a 4 and half month old (interesting coincidence that you helped Zeke at this same age); that at your darkest hour, when you think G-d has really forsaken you, He is actually right there beside you, answering every prayer and call for help.
I can look back on the past couple of months, and see that G-d is right here with me. He is answering all my prayers and calls for help. He is providing everything I need to do my job as mother, wife, accountant, party planner, chauffer, wet nurse, housekeeper, (ok I won’t get started here). You get my drift.
I just love you both. I appreciate you more now than ever in my life. (definitely more than at age 16 when I thought I knew it all). And I am so grateful for your love and support. I really hope that I can be such a support to my own children when they are 40..
Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
I love you both