I have found after being married for 17 years, that some fights never change. The fight we had before my high school reunion when we were dating, is the same fight we had this weekend. Except, it is not just a fight this weekend. It is actually ALL of the same fights piled into one. They grow and multiply. When you are in the middle of the “same ole fight”, you can’t remember which fight it is. Some type of time warp opens up. One minute I was mad about this weekend. The next thing you know, we were sitting in the car Richard had when we were dating, fuming about my high school reunion!
The content doesn’t really matter. It only changes slightly. Suffice it to say, it was more of petty importance than “life or death”. You would think that we would be immune to this sort of repetition in our lives since we both hold masters degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy. Obviously not. I think it is the rare individual that can see their own blind spot.
I have learned one thing though:
That advice that sweet old couples give to newlyweds, “Never go to bed angry”, is a big pile of crap. They are obviously not 2 “first born”s duking it out! When ever we have tried that, it only added hours to the fight. I would have never gone to bed!
I think my Catholic Grandma, who raised 9 kids in poverty had a better motto: “Just go to sleep……it will all be better in the morning”. Works every time! You limit the stupid mean things you say to each other. You wake up refreshed. Then you make up, or laugh about how ridiculous your fight was in the first place………….or best case scenario: both.