Letting Go of

This Womb

I would like to honor and give thanks to this womb of mine.  This glorious giver of life.  This portal of sorts.  Bringing life from the spirit world 4 times.  Holding it deep inside me, safely suspended between two worlds, while the soul manifests a body.  Then assisting the final stretch home.  Birthing life and soul and body into this world…without mishap.  Giving these 4 souls a chance to start a new journey.

This feminine mother love is complete.  Fierce in its protectiveness.  Shielding from harm.  Rerouting lymph and such around the tender bud beginning.  Gentle in its nurturing.  Blocking light.  Muting sound.  Whispering rhythmic songs of heartbeats and mother’s voice.  Never a moment of hunger or thirst or …loneliness.

Now in this final act of love, giving life one last time, to me.  Sacrificing herself so that I may live.  Fighting to contain this disease so no harm will come to me.  This cancer that is life taker is no match for the life givers that surround me.  Healers, and pray’ers’ and this womb.

I will miss her rhythm that carried me through each month.  The flow that would release me from toxins, to the mikvah waters where I would bend God’s ear, to the reuniting in possibility of another chance at life giving.  Had I been braver in this practice of faith, there may have been more than 4.

But I will be brave now.  Although I have never had to be separated from such a part of myself, I accept her gift.  This second birth into life.  I will strive not to waste it.   To use it as a catapult into MY next chapter.  My second chance.  One where I hope to come into my power.  Where I hope to fulfill my purpose.

Knowing that while love can require sacrifice, strength can require letting go.  The willingness to move on.  To make it mean something.

Please as you take this womb from me, do it as gently and lovingly as possible.  With all the honors and blessings that have been earned for her valiant effort, her total sacrifice and her job well done.


One thought on “This Womb

  1. Pingback: Mother’s Day 2015 | Not The Maid

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