The Gift of Hearing

The Voice of Angels

It turns out that when they take out your uterus, they fry your brain.  My body seems to be recovering on a nice predictable path.  My brain is another story.  I am not a big talker in my family to start with, but I have taken quiet to a new level.  Richard accuses me of ‘going into my cave’ when I am sick or sad.   I tend to write more than talk.  But even I didn’t expect the shut down that my brain was going to go through after this event in my life.  My brain is tired.  Small talk is beyond me.  My voice has gone silent.

In the quiet, I have heard some one else speaking up.  My children.  During this 2 months of scary cancer, Bat Mitzvah, surgery and graduation they seem to be finding THEIR voice.

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Micah’s Bat Mitzvah

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Noah’s Graduation

They wrote and spoke to the world their values and beliefs, their hopes and dreams, their fears and pain.   They stood up and risked their hearts publicly.  They gave their voices to the world on several occasions during this time.  I am blown away.  How did these little tow heads of mine become so beautiful and bold and brave? How could they have found such a strong wise voice so young?

When I got the very first phone call that I had cancer,  I wanted to protect.  To shield my children from any realization of my mortality.   It was only for a split second.  Right behind that instinct to protect, was a deep knowing that I had to give it to them straight.  No flim flam.  No drama.  Just honesty.  They deserved nothing less.  They rose up and showed their super hero strength.

They each gave a D’var Torah publicly during these two months.  They each spoke about holiness.  The very middle portion of the Torah.   Kedoshim    Their message was simple.  Our holiness lies in our connections to others.  Our kindness and respect to those around us is what matters most.  That is where we will find God.

It was a hard two months for my family, I will not lie.  But it has also been beautiful and loving and awe inspiring.  I did not know each of my children could step up in such a grace filled way.

I still remember hearing my angels sing me to sleep as a small child.  They were so beautiful.  There were so many!  I remember the grief I felt when they stopped.   Maybe it was my ability to hear them that stopped.

My deep quiet has been a must to help me find peace right now.  That deep quiet has also strengthened my listening.  What I hear is my children’s voices rising up.  It is as sweet and pure as the sound of my angels singing me to sleep as a small girl.  God is there in my connection with these beautiful 4 souls.  What a gift.

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2 thoughts on “The Voice of Angels

  1. Joan Shaffer says:

    Love this blog. Hope you are feeling better. I know that the girls are having fun at camp. Joan

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  2. Cherene says:

    Michaux you are blessed with your angels, your perspective and attitude towards life and the Holiness of it all. I felt the most connected to God and the most spiritual when I focussed on my physical being and my body miraculously healing. I read your words and look at your photos and feel lucky that you are raising such beautiful people to grace our world. Thank you for sharing and a r’fuah shlemah to you lovely and brave lady.

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